Changing Faces

Three Years ago I was a different Person, Inside & Out. Today When you see me I appear to be the same, yet the change is there, and a drastic one if I must say so. Let me tell you about myself then. Well to start off I didn't have a care in the world, nor did I have a fear in the world, I worked when I wanted, slept if it was necessary, shopped and spent money faster then I could count it. I partied as if i didn't the sun would not come up the next day, and was as materialistic as they came. I was rude, selfish, mainstream, loved fast food, loud (actually that might never change) annoying, stuck-up, quick to judge, and very bratty. All and all, quite possibly a average American girl.
---Janurary 7,2009 Woke up feeling a little ummm off...ill take a pregnancy test I tell myself, lets rule that off the list first. Well not so much. I go into the bathroom Asu on the couch walk out with 2 sticks that both have 2 lines. Faint, but never the less 2 lines. Now over the years I have taken that very same test about a hundred times, but this time it was different. My life was soon to change, as I knew it would, but I had no idea what I was in for.
---September 12,2009    Ella Amoni was born at 10:22 p.m. Happy and healthy, beautiful. Now lets back track this real quick. My pregnancy was like most in the the sense that I went to all my OB appointments, did everything they said, took all the necessary test. Looking back now I don't think they were so "necessary" but that's a topic for another time. I knew i wanted a natural child birth, I was never big on medication. Also seeing as how you couldn't take anything more then a Tylenol, I figured then why shoot myself up with drugs while giving birth. What makes that any better?? I went into labor at 1:00 am very early that day, I wanted to stay home for as long as possible before going to the hospital, tried to sleep took a bath, rested when possible. Finally around 3 pm I deiced it was time to go. I had been in labor for 14 hours so it seemed like it was time.   St. John Main was the location, car parked, checked in(5 cm dilated), now im to the "birthing room" They call it this but it looked more like a sterile closet to me. Now Since this was my first baby I didn't know what to expect, but I will quickly come to realize its not what I wanted. Tell me why my chart says NATURAL BIRTH, and the moment I get into the room they immediately put me on patossin (sp) Well until this point I was doing good, but they decided to slam me into labor, and hard labor I wasnt happy about this but I was determined no pain meds, and no epidural. Its 6:00pm I had been in this closet for about 30 min, They only let me "try" (i dont even consider it them letting me try, i see it as they were humoring me) for about three more hours, Then the doctors comes in and actually tells me "Once I deliver you I get to go home" So 20 min later she comes in and here, comes the C-Section. I was pissed to say the least. They get me ready for that, wheel me in and boom Baby Ella was here. Not really Boom, just like that But i dont have the time and energy right now to go into the experience I had in that operating room, or as I would call it slaughter house. 
         Now this is where the story gets interesting, and its also the part where god picks me up off my feet turns me upside down and drops me on my head, then just like that im a different person over night. I dont mean different as in I now have a child,  I mean different.  That girl that i was three years ago is now gone, she doesn't Exist any longer. One thing that I will say is NEVER say NEVER. Everything I said I would never do, or never become, I have and I think its that way for a reason, maybe just to play a joke on you in some kind of weird sick twisted way. Im that "Weirdo" now that I used to laugh at or mock. Thats me. Well I dont think so I know im perfectly sane, and I now know that I think what I used to be is the weirdo, but whatever. 
Changing Faces
     You think you might know me, but you have no idea. Im a different kind of parent then most, and actually most find it very weird, However i don't.I think its normal, and to be honest common sense.  In the First Two months I was a so called "Normal" mom I breastfed my little girl Took her to her doctor visits, But after her 2 month appointment something changed. I don't trust these damn doctors. Not with MY CHILD, this is my baby she has been put here for me to protect, Now why on earth was I handing her over to this doctor and letting him stick needles full of garbage into her bloodstream. Now i don't Vaccinate her. I wont get into why I don't, but I don't, much research was done on this. I would sit up all night reading studies, Looking for articles,for two months straight, but from all this my eyes were open to much more, a completely different style of parenting.  Everything most mothers do I do different. I will make a list of all the things that I do different, and never though this is how I would be raising my child, but im so happy my eyes were opened to this amazing way of parenting. Its much more work I believe, more research, more everything. There is much thought behind every decision that is made, but im happy with the lack of other things for the sake of my child. 
1. Co-sleeping yup just what it sounds like, our child sleeps with us, right in the middle, and i love it. I actually tried to put her back into her crib, but i missed her and brought her back. I think this is the reason she never cries she knows we are always there 24/7. She never has a need to cry.
2. Attachment style parenting, I dont work i stay at home, and raise my baby. She is with me all day every day right buy my side. When she needs something i get it for her. When she wants to be picked up shes picked up. ITs a mind frame alot of people couldn't do this, but im very fortunate i am able to spend all this time with her.
3. Doctors- We dont go for the whole doctor scene anymore, once we stopped Vaxing at Two months there really was no point for the whole Vaccine Visit... I mean  "Well baby visit" or so they like to call it. Plus we were Fired for our Ped anyways, Why see our baby if you making no money off of her i guess. Shes One year old and has never been sick. What kind of doctor whats that kind of baby in their practice? Not many i guess. 
Organic food- Asu and I are changing our diet as well, but old habits die hard, or so they say. Its a process for us, but Ella on the other hand After finding out about GMO's and all the chemicals they put into everything it was a no brainier for me. Its all she eats, and all she ever will eat. Shes never had a piece of meat to this day or a single piece of food that was Organic, Free of pesticides, hormones ( I personally dont need my 5 year old having a period, but to each their own) She will not be drinking cows milk. That milk is made for a ton animal. SO we are very anal about what goes into her mouth.
  Medicine- She doenst get any, natural remedies are the best, what do you think pharmaceutical meds are, they are natural remedies with added drugs. No thanks.      
       There are a lot of other things that have changed as well, Im not materialistic any more those things aren't a priority in my life. I dont go out and party, not really my style, I brought a child into this world and its my responsibility to care for that child to the best of my ability, and I dont think that includes drinking until 3 am then waking up at 7 with her. There are many other things that i just don't feel like listing, but all in all im not the parent I thought I was going to be, but now as I see it im better then I thought I would be. Never say never is the theme to this post. I never thought I would be that so called "alternative" mom, or the so called "Weird" mom but if thats what it takes to raise my child healthy, and happy then so be it. Call me what you want, but never say never, because you never know. Im not the same person I was, and wouldn't change it for the world. I feel so privileged that I think and feel the way I do now, and would not change that for the world!